Jan. 5 & 7

“All About Eve” (1950) Directed by Joseph L. Mankiewicz, with Bette Davis and Anne Baxter. A ruthless young woman does whatever she can to be a star of the theater no matter who is hurt by her actions.

Jan. 12 & 14

“Cool Hand Luke” (1967) Directed by Stuart Rosenberg, with Paul Newman and George Kennedy. A man tries to keep his individuality while incarcerated in a chain gang. 126 min.

Jan. 19 & 21

“Sullivan’s Travels” (1941) Directed by Preston Sturges, with Joel McCrea and Veronica Lake. In this comedy/drama a movie director takes on the disguise of a hobo in order to discover the real America during the depression. 90 min.

Jan. 26 & 28

“A Fistful of Dollars” (1964) Directed by Sergio Leone, with Clint Eastwood and Gian Maria Volonte. An Italian western in which a gunfighter manipulates two warring factions for his own profit. Based on the Japanese film “Yojimbo.” 99 min.

Feb. 2 & 4

“The Cocoanuts” (1929) Directed by Robert Florey and Joseph Santley, with the Marx Brothers and Margaret Dumont. The Marx Brothers bring their Broadway show to the movies and do anything for a laugh in a story set in a failing Florida resort hotel. 96 min.

Feb. 9 & 11

“Key Largo” (1948) Directed by John Huston, with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. A group of gangsters take over a small hotel as a place to ride out an oncoming hurricane. The cast also includes Edward G. Robinson, Lionel Barrymore and Claire Trevor. 100 min.

Feb. 16 & 18

“The Apartment” (1960) Directed by Billy Wilder, with Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine. By renting his apartment to philandering executives, a man tries to rise within his company in this comedy/drama. 125 min.

Feb. 23 & 25

“The Letter” (1940) Directed by William Wyler, with Bette Davis and Herbert Marshall. Intrigue abounds on a rubber plantation when the wife of the manager is accused of murder and she says she is innocent. 95 min

Mar. 2 & 4

“West Side Story” (1955) Directed by Robert Wise & Jerome Robbins, with Natalie Wood and Richard Beymer. Based on “Romeo and Juliet,” this musical is about love that develops a boy and girl who are attached to different street gangs. 114 min.

Mar. 9 & 11

“Million Dollar Mermaid” (1952) Directed by Mervyn Leroy, with Esther Williams and Victor Mature. The swimming star of MGM was a perfect choice to play Annette Kellerman, the lady who introduced America to the one piece bathing suit. 115 min.

Mar. 16 & 18

“Twelve O’Clock High” (1949) Directed by Henry King, with Gregory Peck and Hugh Marlowe. When morale gets low in a bomber squadron during World War II, a tough officer is sent in to set things right. 132 min.

Mar. 23 & 25

“Going My Way” (1944) Directed by Leo McCarey, with Bing Crosby and Barry Fitzgerald. An older priest and a young priest must learn each other’s ways in this heartwarming film that also contains wonderful music. 126 min

Mar. 30 & Apr. 1

“Seven Days in May” (1964) Directed by John Frankenheimer, with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas. A group of military men plan to overthrow the government of the United States. 118 min.

Apr. 6 & 8

“Lonely Art the Brave” (1962) Directed by David Miller, with Kirk Douglas and Gena Rowlands. A modern day cowboy who can’t stand to be confined becomes the object of a manhunt in the mountains of New Mexico. 107 min.

Apr. 13 & 15

“In the Heat of the Night” (1967) Directed by Norman Jewison, with Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger. A racist southern sheriff gets a hand in a murder case from an urban cop who is black. 109 min.

Apr. 20 & 22

The Searchers” (1956) Directed by John Ford, with John Wayne and Jeffrey Hunter. When Indians kidnap a man’s niece, he devotes his life to the search for her no matter where it takes him. 119 min

Apr. 27 & 29

“Gone With the Wind” (1939) Directed by Victor Fleming, with Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable. A classic tale of the Civil War in which a woman does what she can to survive the war. 238 min.

CELEBRATION CINEMA NORTH

All movies in the Celebrating the Classics film series are shown at Celebration Cinema North located on the East Beltline and Knapp in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Prices are just $3.00 per show. Each showing will be introduced by film reviewer John Douglas.

I remember once back in the 70s when I was running a film series on Monday nights at the Grand Rapids Art Museum, I happened to mention to the group that I was a major comic book fan and after the show was over, a friend I had met during the series asked me if I had ever read “American Splendor.” I had to admit that I had not and he indicated that I couldn’t be that much of a fan if I had not read “American Splendor.” I, of course, had my doubts that this friend knew what he was talking about.

The next Monday evening my new friend arrived at the film series with five or six comic books, all of which were issues of “American Splendor.” He told me to take them home and read them and let him know what I thought.

I agreed to do so but the fact is that the comics didn’t look all that interesting to me, so they sat on my desk and began their downward trek to the bottom of a pile.

Before I managed to muster the energy to read an issue of “American Splendor,” my friend died.

Soon after his funeral I remembered that I still had his comics. I figured that I ought to take them over to his house were his relatives where dealing with his estate. But I felt guilty that I had never taken the time to read the comics. So I sat down at my desk and began to work my way through them.

It wasn’t long into my reading of those issues of “American Splendor” that I knew that my friend was right; I had missed something major in the world of comics. I will confess to you at this point that I was so taken with these comics that I didn’t return them to my friend’s family. I felt some guilt about that but have managed to justify the act in my own mind.

So – who is Harvey Pekar and what’s the story on “American Splendor?”

Harvey Pekar is, plain and simple, one of the best writers working in America today. The good thing is that by writing comic books and graphic novels his work can be enjoyed by those people who cherish reading and also by those who get no pleasure from pure print but can enjoy a story told with words and pictures.

I know I’m beating my head against the wall when it comes to singing the praises of good comic books. The majority of adult Americans still believe comic books are for kids and are unworthy of their attention. I would agree that most of them are unworthy. Most are idiotic and the major publishers are doing what they can to make comic books acceptable – not to adolescents – but to adults with adolescent minds. Because of that I don’t care if I ever read another superhero comic as they are filled with muscle bound oafs who spend most of their time whining about their lot in life. Get off the pity potty, Wolverine.

In spite of the glut of superhero comics, there are some good comics out there and Harvey Pekar wrote and published one of the best with “American Splendor.” Within that comic Harvey Pekar presented stories about the everyday life of the common man. In “American Splendor” we can see ourselves and can either laugh at what we see or take stock of who we are.

Harvey Pekar is not a comic book mogul. While he was doing his writing, he held various jobs to make a living and the most recent one before he retired was as a clerk in a veteran’s hospital in Cleveland.

Let me give you an idea of the kind of story you might run into inside “American Splendor.” One of the tales that I really identified with is one in which Harvey had to decide whether or not to keep an appointment he had with someone who wanted to sell some jazz records. Harvey’s mouth was watering over the idea of increasing his collection but his problem was that it was snowing hard outside and it appeared that driving to where he had to go was going to be dicey. So what to do? Go out and take the chance of getting stuck in the snow far from home or staying home and taking the chance of losing an opportunity to acquire an album of music ne’er heard by him. I know it sounds simple but it isn’t. Harvey Pekar presents it in a way that makes the tale simply delicious and informative about human beings and how they make decisions.

And by the way – Harvey Pekar does not illustrate his stories. He leaved that to some of the best comic artists of the day including Robert Crumb.

The bad news is that at this point of time “American Splendor” is not being published. But that shouldn’t matter to you as most comic book stores have back issues or they have collections of his stories bound into a paperback book. Most of his graphic novels can be found on the bookshelves of all the major book stores.

The good news is that Harvey Pekar is busy writing graphic novels which are mostly autobiographical as were his comics. So the more you read, the more you get to know him. And it is great fun to know Harvey Pekar even though his life is not always a bed of roses.

Now the title “American Splendor” might seem familiar to some of you but not in the context of a comic book. That is probably because back in 2003 a film was released called “American Splendor” and it was based on the life of Harvey Pekar and on his comic stories (which are essentially the same thing). Paul Giamatti played Harvey Pekar and was the role that sent his career into high gear.

The fact of the matter is that “American Splendor” is a terrific movie and a great adaptation of Harvey Pekar’s work. Someday I hope you get a chance to see this film on the big screen but until then, search it out when looking for a DVD to watch.

Another good thing about Harvey Pekar is that he still takes my calls even after I’ve been retired from The Grand Rapids Press for three years. He even seems glad to hear from me. Harvey Pekar tells me that he will have a new graphic novel out in September and that it will be about life in Cleveland. Sounds exciting to me.

Remember the name – Harvey Pekar- an American treasure.

What in the world has happened to science fiction? It’s almost impossible to find a paperback book in the science fiction section of a bookstore that doesn’t have a wizard and/or a unicorn on the cover and as far as I’m concerned any story about a unicorn and/or a wizard is not science fiction.

Science fiction on television is also a problem. While they do have science fiction programs, most of them are space operas looking like nothing more than a clone of “Star Trek.” (Hasn’t Hollywood milked the “Star Trek” franchise dry? I think so.)

Science fiction in the movies often looks like no more than a sample reel for a computer graphics geek. In most science fiction movies, good stories and the sense of wonder are tossed out in favor of massive special effects sequences.

There’s nothing wrong with wizard films, space operas and special effects run amok but we friends of Asimov, Clarke and Heinlein need more once in awhile. We want content and substance. That’s why I want to tell you about “Moon” which is currently playing at Celebration at Woodland Mall. “Moon” is as good a science fiction movie as I have seen in many a moon. It’s no “2001: A Space Odyssey” but it will do until something better comes along which is not likely to happen in the next couple of weeks.

In “Moon” there are no monsters and no intergalactic space battalions bent on destroying the Earth and there are no wizards sending some hapless troll named Poo Poo or Wee-knuckle on a mission to discover the secret of how to set things right in the country of the galoots.

“Moon” is the science fiction story of Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell), a man who lives on the moon all by himself. He is employed by a mining company and he lives and works inside buildings that have a controlled environment. Sam’s job is to watch over an automated mining system as it digs up moon stuff for shipment to Earth. As we are being introduced to Sam, we learn that he is nearing the end of his three year shift on the moon. Sam’s preparing to go home to his family but all of a sudden there’s a complication – Sam is not alone. A man appears on the scene that looks a lot like Sam.

That’s all I can tell you about the plot of this film which I found to be very rewarding.

Of course the story could have been told in a shorter amount of time but no matter. And also no matter that the filmmakers made a major mistake in giving Sam’s robot helper a voice and a vocal delivery style that makes him sound exactly like HAL from “2001: A Space Odyssey.” Every time it speaks, with Kevin Spacey supplying the soothing voice, it reminded me of “2001: A Space Odyssey” and no science fiction film, no matter how good it is, should invite a comparison to the Stanly Kubrick film which is only one of the best movies ever made.

Sam Rockwell, who you might remember from his wonderful portrayal as Chuck Barris in George Clooney’s “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind,” gives a fine performance in the difficult situation of being essentially the only character in the film.
So if you like science fiction like I like science fiction then you should begin a countdown for your trip to “Moon.”

We kids all knew that her real name was Virginia Lee but no kid that I ever knew said her name aloud either in front of her or behind her back. That kind of disrespect was too dangerous for we believed either consciously or subconsciously that she probably possessed powers that were not given to regular folks.

She was Mrs. Lee and that was that.

So what does Mrs. Lee have to do with movies? Nothing. But she does have something to do with one movie in particular. That movie is Michael Curtiz’ “Yankee Doodle Dandy” with James Cagney and Joan Leslie.

“Yankee Doodle Dandy” is a film that was built to elicit an emotional response from its audiences be they folks that lived through World War I and/or World War II. The film is filled with inspirational songs that were composed by Gorge M. Cohan and were popular during World War I. “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” a film biography of George M. Cohan, was released in 1942 and it put those inspiration songs to work once again to buck up the spirits in those uncertain days of World War II.

Mrs. Lee, who taught music to all seven grades, obviously loved those World War I songs; primarily the ones written by George M. Cohan. Thus songs of World War I were the entire music curriculum at our school. I suppose that there are education experts that would find all kinds of reasons that gung-ho songs of war would be inappropriate for elementary school kids but they would be full of crap.

Those were wonderful songs and they cried out to be sung. So when Mrs. Lee’s talents on the upright piano were combined with the voices of the kids from all seven grades, that was real music. These were not the wimpy and tuneless songs sung in schools these days but were songs you could get your tonsils around.

From Cohan came “Give My Regards to Broadway,” “The Yankee Doodle Boy” and the showstopper of Glen Ferris Elementary – “Over There.” Mrs. Lee also introduced us to non-George M. Cohan songs like “A Rose in No-Man’s Land” and “Goodbye Broadway, Hello France” plus we had our first taste of a foreign language when we sang “La Vie En Rose.”

But it was those George M. Cohan songs that were one of the supports of my musical foundation. So whenever I re-watch “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and someone on the screen begins to sing one of those wondrous songs, I am taken back to those times in the activity room of that little school house when the youth of our town and a few neighboring towns let loose with “Over There” or one of the other tunes in our repertoire. Those were grand old times.

Over the years I have come to realize that Mrs. Lee not only taught me some swell songs but taught me a lot about the joys of music. Mrs. Lee and George M. Cohan were quite a team.

Cast:

Derzu Uzala…………………. Maksim Munzuk
Capt. Vladimir Arseniev….…..Yuri Solomin
Mrs. Arseniev……….Svetlana Danilchenko
Wowa……………….…..…….Dimitri Korshikov
Jan Bao……..………..Suimenkul Chokmorov

I’ve never gotten over my love of stories of high adventure and I hope that I never will as there is no film more satisfying that one that tells a story about a man or woman or both up against an almost impossible situation. The part of my youth spent in movie theaters was, for the most part, reserved for stories of high adventure. I wasn’t too much interest in love stories or biographies or musicals. I wanted my 15 cents to go toward witnessing the activities of Hopalong Cassidy, Tarzan, the Durango Kid, Bomba the Jungle Boy and Dick Tracy.

This kind of adventure film fit in with my need for the exciting stories as presented on radio, In comic books and later in pulp magazines. In fact I still love fictional and non-fictional high adventure.

If you’re like me then you will want to see “Dersu Uzala,” a film that is as good as it gets when it comes to high adventure. And what’s interesting is that it’s a Russian film that was directed by one of Japan’s best directors. I’m talking about Akira Kurosawa (“Seven Samurai” and “Yojimbo”) and his film “Dersu Uzala.” The title of the film is the name of one of the principal characters in the film.

Dersu Uzala (Maksim Munzuk) is an Asian hunter who lives in Siberia under the same brutal conditions as the Eskimos. The other principal character in the film is Captain Vladimir Arseniev (Yuri Solomin) who is a Russian surveyor that is exploring Siberia back in 1902. In spite of their cultural differences, the two men become fast friends when they meet in that hostile part of the world. That friendship becomes laced with shared wisdom.

“Dersu Uzala,” which won an Academy Award for Best Foreign Film in 1976, reminds me of the yarns of Jack London like “Call of the Wild” and “White Fang” as they all involve survival. To put it succinctly “Dersu Uzala” is a ripping good yarn. And please don’t be put off by the fact that “Dersu Uzala” is a foreign film as I guarantee that that will not stand in your way of having a whale of a good time.

Of course, the best way to see “Dersu Uzala” is on a big screen in a wide screen process. Because that is not likely to happen (unless I schedule it on Celebrating the Classics which I just might do), the next best thing is on DVD but be sure it is letterboxed. The wide screen is very important to the film shot in the great outdoors.

Movie lovers seek it out and you shall be rewarded.

I will say that Walter Cronkite was an important part of my television viewing history particularly at the time I was studying Radio and Television in college. As a college student I was idealistic about the future of television as were my fellow students at Marietta College in Marietta, Ohio. After all, it is the job of the college student to be idealistic.

We felt that television was going to grow into something pretty wonderful. We suspected that it was going to bring peoples and nations together and that it was going to offer the world presentations of wondrous quality. What gave us that strange notion? I will give you a partial list.

Edward R. Murrow, David Brinkley, David Susskind, “Omnibus,” “Camera 3,” Public Television, “Studio One,” Ernie Kovacs, Fred Friendly, communication satellites, “Playhouse 90,” the televised moon landing, Army-McCarthy hearings and certainly Walter Cronkite were all important elements of television in its youth. These were people and programs and technologies that gave us hope that television would one day be a cornucopia of information that would continue to give us a sense of wonder about who we are as human beings.

This is not to say that there wasn’t material of questionable quality on television back in the 50s and 60s but the people on my list, among others, were voices that could be heard.

Since college I have become more and more concerned about television and its relationship to society. Something has gone amiss. I was moved that think about the state of television even before the death of Walter Cronkite. What triggered my pessimistic thoughts was the coverage of the death of Michael Jackson. (Need I tell you who he is? I thought not.)

The two major cable networks went bananas over Michael Jackson. Watching and listening to them talk about the pop singer made me think of the film “King of Hearts” where in inmates of a lunatic asylum take over a town. In that French film, the lunatics do all right as community leaders but not so with CNN and Fox . And why is that? Because the news people on those two cable channels are not lunatics but are intelligent and semi-intelligent people who know exactly what they are doing. I think they believe that if they act like lunatics then they will better connect with the viewers that they believe are lunatics or, at the very least, a collection of nincompoops.

I am very pessimistic about television. There are good things on television but they are drowned out by the noise generated by all the garbage.

So the deaths of Michael Jackson and Walter Cronkite have geared up my pessimism – Michael Jackson because of the insane coverage and Walter Cronkite because he reminds me of what might have been.

To round out his little article I will leave you with another list – a list of other things that make me pessimistic about television.

Wolf Blitzer, reality shows, Shepherd Smith, organ enlargement ads, Roger Ailes, Glenn Beck, studio technologies run amuck, Rick Sanchez, unsubstantiated news stories, constant self congratulations by newscasters, moronic ad libs by anchors and Judge Judy are just a few. Feel free to add to the list.

A couple of nights ago I was involved in a dream that featured Sophia Loren. It’s great fun to be in a dream with a movie star but the fact that a movie star appears does not guarantee that I will remember much about the dream after I have been awake for awhile.

But for some reason there are dreams that I do remember a little about. I remember once I was in a dream with James Arness that took place on the top of a boxcar on a moving train. There was some gun play and Mr. Arness fell on top of me. I’m not sure whether he was wounded or dead although I would like to believe that he had suffered a flesh wound and was OK. I wouldn’t like the word to get out that it was difficult to survive my dreams.

Another time I was involved in some kind of adventure with Dick Tracy. Well, it was Dick Tracy as played by Ralph Byrd and I don’t remember much else about it. And speaking of Dick Tracy, I shared a dream not long ago with Warren Beatty who had nothing more than a walk-on role.

It happens all the time and for the most part I am pleased to have visitors from the silver screen involved in my dreams. But what about Ms. Loren? Well, the dream took place in New York City where I was attending a junket along with James Sanford, who was a reviewer for the Kalamazoo Gazette, and John Serba who was there representing The Grand Rapids Press.

For some reason I was to escort Ms. Loren to a screening of a movie and just as I was to shake hands with her, I woke up. I told my wife who was also awake that I just had a dream in which Sophia Loren appeared. “What happened?” she asked. “Nothing,” I said. “I woke up.”

Well, wouldn’t you know it? This was one of those times when I was able to go back to sleep and pick up the dream essentially where it had left off. I was standing with Ms. Loren and I was wondering what kind of intelligent thing I could say to Ms. Loren that would indicate to her that I was a man of great intellect.

“Do you still make Italian films?” is what I came up with. It had occurred to me that I had seen her only in American films in recent years. I don’t know what she said in return because the dream got chaotic after I helped Ms. Loren into a vehicle. The rest of the dream involved missing an airplane flight to the screening and trying to figure out how to get to the screening not knowing where it was taking place.

I don’t know what happened to Mr. Sanford and Mr. Serba and when all was said and done I really didn’t care. I had had a few moments with Sophia Loren which is as much as you can ask from a dream.

Do you want to see a funny movie and I mean a really funny movie? Then search out “Big Business” with Laurel and Hardy. This silent film is only about 19 minutes long and was released in 1929 which makes it 10 years older than me. True movie buffs know that the age, length of a film is immaterial and that the ability of the characters to speak is not always essential.

In the 19 minute span of “Big Business” will give you more laughs than 50 sitcom episodes tied together. In “Big Business” Laurel and Hardy play door-to-door Christmas tree salesmen who run into a home owner (James Finlayson) who wants nothing to do with Christmas trees. Soon the two salesmen and the homeowner escalate their differences into a full scale war. It’s absolutely hilarious.

This structure of having a minor disagreement turn into something beyond anyone’s control was used by Laurel and Hardy in such films as “Two Tars” and “Tit for Tat.” All three of these films are good and worth watching but I have a fondness for “Big Business.”
You might be interested to know that George Stevens, the man who did the photography for “Big Business” is the same George Stevens who directed such films as “Shane,” “Giant” and “The Diary of Anne Frank.”

You will not find “Big Business” on a DVD all its own but instead will be found on many of the compilations of the short films of Laurel and Hardy. It is well worth the effort you make to search it out. Plus it will be more entertaining if you invite some friends and relatives over as laughter is contagious.

Directed by Sam Raimi; produced by Grant Curtis, Robert G. Tapert and Sam Raimi; written by Ivan Raimi and Sam Raimi; director of photography, Peter Deming; edited by Bob Murawski; production design by Steve Saklad; music by Christopher Young.
Cast:
Christine Brown…………….Alison Lohman
Clay Dalton……………………….…Justin Long
Mrs. Ganush………………..…….Lorna Raver
Rham Jas……………………………..Dileep Rao
Mr. Jacks……………..………….David Paymer

I went to see “Drag Me to Hell” because I suspected the film was an attempt by Sam Raimi’s to go back to his cinematic roots where he directed such wonderful horror films as “The Evil Dead Parts 1 and 2,” “Army of Darkness” and “Darkman.” I loved those films but have been bored by Raimi’s work since he became involved with the Amazing Spider-man as the director of those pretentious films in which the spider-bitten superhero does battle with evil while whining about his personal life.

I was delighted to discover that Raimi did indeed return to the good old days with “Drag Me to Hell.” It’s a movie that is scary – sort of – and has some rather dark humor which was the signature of the earlier Raimi efforts.

The plot barely exists and serves only to carry one character or another to the next site where something wicked will occur. The principal character is Christine Brown (Alison Lohman), a bank employee who is on the verge of a promotion. She has a rival (Reggie Lee) for the position that is giving her problems but those difficulties are nothing compared to what she has to go through when she denies an old woman (Lorna Raver) an extension on a loan.

This old woman takes rejection hard and shows her dissatisfaction through use of various disgusting bodily fluids. I must say I could identify with the old lady as I have spent time in banks where a couple of quarts of vomit would have come in handy.

But I’m not supposed to be on the side of the customer from hell. I’m supposed to like Christine and I do. She is a nice young woman with slightly more intelligence than the damsels in distress in most modern horror films. I feel badly for her because besides having to deal with a major supernatural force unleashed by the old woman, she must keep her rival at the bank from getting the upper hand.

And if that isn’t enough, Christine has to go to dinner to meet her fiance’s (Justin Long) parents.

While all of this is happening Raimi tips his hat to William Friedkin’s “The Exorcist,” Tobe Hooper’s “Poltergeist” and his own “The Evil Dead.” These are always welcome moments for real film buffs that get to feel superior because they believe they are the only ones who get these references. I’m one of those I’m sorry to say. To this day I believe that Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill” films were made specifically for me as no one but me could possible get all of Tarantino’s references to other films.

“Drag Me to Hell” is not as good as the previously mentioned horror films by Raimi but it is of high enough quality to be a good movie for a couple of mindless hours in the theater. My major disappointment is the ending which I can’t talk about and my major delight were some very witty scenes which I also can’t talk about lest I reduce their impact. Also I am glad to report that there are no scenes of rutting by any of the characters. Thanks for that, Sam.

Now brothers and sisters, these guys and a gal may have been young and sometimes foolish but this didn’t stop them from saving large chunks of the Universe from annihilation. Kirk almost singlehandedly takes on the man with the black hole machine and also deals with a problem in the space time continuum. At the same time he is often engaged in fist fights and shoot-outs.

Also, as is the case with comic book superheroes, Kirk – and Spock – are infected with hero angst which has to be dealt with between major intergalactic engagements.

Having seen this new film and having seen the episodes of “Star Trek” on television, I would like to make some observations. First of all I would like to be able to take a time machine to the period between the adventure presented in this new film and the adventures presented on the television series. I would like to be able to tell Kirk that he will have no adventure in his futures that will be as difficult to survive as the one in this film. I would tell him to relax as the challenges in those television adventures are going to seem like a frolic around a May pole compared to what they encountered in this new movie.

The new film did reveal that Kirk and his merry astronauts were given a handicap for those television adventures. The handicap that I’m talking about concerns the amount of scientific stuff on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise. In the prequel film there’s a lot of good scientific stuff that disappears by the time we see the Enterprise on television. The poor captain and his crew seem practically naked on the bridge of the television version of the Enterprise after having done battle in the movie Enterprise.

And speaking of naked, after the adventure that pits Kirk against Nemo, the man with the black holes in the “Star Trek” movie, the Federation must have sent down a stern directive about Star Fleet members playing kissy-face and other naughty stuff with other members of Star Fleet as that kind of naughty activity was almost never seen on the television adventures. In the movie Kirk seems obsessed with women and the potential fun and games they represent while Spock has the sizzle for Uhura – which is “logical” as far as I’m concerned. Both Kirk and Spock must have taken lots of cold showers before they went to work in the television adventures. Same goes for some lightly rough language that disappears after this first adventure. The Federation must have laid down the law about swearing even in the fever of battle against the deadly Moronians , Nincompoopians or whoever.

The future is what science fiction is all about and I tend to trust those writers of books, movies and comic books to see accurately into the future. As devotee of science fiction I have seen much come to pass that was revealed to me by Verne, Wells, Orwell, Huxley, Bradbury, Asimov, Heinlein, Clarke, Kornbluth, Calkins and Raymond. So when I see in the “Star Trek” movie that only the bad guys are wearing tattoos, I take comfort in that and I believe that it will come to pass that tattoos become, once again, the decorations of guys so tough that they chew steel and spit nails. It would appear that normal people have given up this form of self-mutilation.

On the negative side the creators of the movie “Star Trek” revel to the audience that pop music will continue its downward spiral by giving us a sample in a bar scene that comes early in the movie. Noise and music continue on their collision courses so say the scribes that penned the new movie.

That’s about it for now concerning Kirk and his crew and what I personally got out of their adventures but someday I will tell you of my bittersweet romance with the actress that played the long lost love of Kirk in “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan.” His romance was also bittersweet giving me something in common with Capt. Kirk other than our bravado.